I thought I knew how to parent…. then my children became teenagers and made me question everything I thought I knew! As a parent, raising teenagers can be one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of your life. We have the best intentions as parents but often fall short, and guiding an adolescent through some of the most crucial years of their life can sometimes feel daunting!

Adolescence is a time of significant physical, emotional, and psychological changes; your teenager is learning to navigate their way through the world as a thriving, independent individual. But, with the right strategies and support, you can help your teenager navigate this critical period of their lives and set them up for success in adulthood.  As I’ve had the privilege to sit with young men and women through some of their biggest struggles, I’ve learned a thing or two:

·      They need to feel heard.

·      They crave autonomy but don’t know what to do with it.

·      They want to be their own person but also feel supported.

·      They can often feel overwhelmed by navigating both the freedom and the responsibility of being a teenager.

How do we as parents, caregivers, and supporters help these young impressionable minds through their struggles?  Here are a few ideas:

Keep the communication lines open

Communication is essential in any relationship, but it’s especially critical when raising teenagers. Your teenager is going through many changes, and it’s essential they feel they can talk to you about what they’re going through. Encourage your teenager to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you without fear of judgment or criticism. Be an active listener and validate their feelings, even if you disagree with their perspective. Encourage them to talk to you about their day, friends, and interests, and, when they do, avoid lecturing or preaching to them.

When communicating with your teenager, it’s important to be patient, empathetic, and non-judgmental. This approach can help to build trust and respect, which will make it easier for your teenager to open up to you in the future. If your teenager is reluctant to talk to you, try to find other ways to connect with them. Maybe take them out for a meal or do an activity they enjoy.

Set clear boundaries and expectations and allow the consequences to be the teacher

Discuss the rules and consequences for breaking them, and be consistent in enforcing them. However, it’s also important to be flexible and willing to negotiate with your teenager. Let them have some autonomy and independence, but ensure they understand the limits and responsibilities that come with it.

When setting boundaries and expectations, it’s essential to be realistic and age-appropriate. Your teenager may push against these boundaries, but they need to understand that there are consequences for breaking them. If your teenager breaks a rule, try to remain calm and discuss the situation with them in a non-judgmental manner. Help them to understand why the rules are in place and the consequences of breaking them.

Encourage healthy habits

Adolescence is a time when teenagers are forming lifelong habits. Encourage healthy habits such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep. Encourage your teenager to develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and emotional challenges.  Your teenager may resist your efforts, but remain patient and persistent. Set a good example by leading a healthy lifestyle yourself. Make healthy choices easy and accessible for your teenager.

Be a positive role model

As a parent, you are a significant influence on your teenager’s behavior and attitudes. Be a positive role model by modeling healthy habits, positive communication, and respectful behavior. Avoid negative behaviors such as yelling, criticism, and sarcasm, which can be damaging to your teenager’s emotional health and self-esteem.

Being a positive role model can be challenging, as you’re not always going to be perfect. However, it’s essential to acknowledge when you’ve made a mistake and model positive behavior by apologizing and repairing the relationship when necessary. This approach can help to build a healthy and respectful relationship with your teenager.

Seek professional help when necessary

Many teenagers go through difficult periods, and it’s important to recognize when professional help is needed. If you notice signs of depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues in your teenager, seek professional help. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor who can help your teenager navigate their challenges and provide support for both you and your teenager. Our therapists at the Renewing Life Center are here to help. Call us at 702-434-7290 today!

Samantha Winters, M.A., LMFT